For divorced singles, Diwali can be a tough time, when nostalgia for the good old days of their marriage hits harder than at any other time.
But unfortunately, it doesn’t stop at nostalgia; it also brings a sudden reminder that their lives stopped halfway while everyone else moves ahead.
For others, Diwali is the time for social gatherings, relationship milestones, and spending time with their partners, but according to a survey by Indian matchmaking app Rebounce, for divorced singles, this time of the year is a brutal reminder of the “what could have been”.
The study shows that moving on and taking the journey of a second chance is not a linear process; occasional hits, even something as festive as Diwali, can take an unexpected toll on all the progress. For 49 per cent of respondents, the desire for companionship coexists with the fear of repeating the same mistake, losing time, being left behind, and sometimes even competitiveness The survey saw 11,947 divorced, separated, and widowed individuals between 28 and 45 years of age participate in it. Respondents were selected from both metro and suburban regions of India.
The app’s founder and CEO, Ravi Mittal, said, “Romance after a failed marriage is different from dating for first-time daters. People are not just matching based on vibe; they carry lived experiences, lessons, fear, guilt, disappointment, and clarity this time around. We notice that during the festive season, the pressure to find someone becomes so much more pronounced, as if there’s a deadline and it peaks before a Diwali gathering.”
Diwali rebound
Diwali and the impending family and friends’ gathering create a sense of urgency among divorced singles to find a plus one. For 33 per cent of divorced singles, seeing their ex-spouse romantically involved with someone else has led to a sudden rush in finding a partner for themselves. Another 38 per cent of divorced women said watching close friends enjoy Diwali with their partners increased their haste to find a partner, and even overlooked incompatibilities. The app’s data shows an 8 per cent spike in activities during October and November. It also logged more matches this month and saw longer chats between users. However, this sudden motivation also has a downside. The survey found that 4 in 10 people said they committed to someone even when they were not emotionally ready for a new relationship. Kashish (36) said, “I connected with someone in mid-October, and by the end of the month I realised I rushed into it. I guess I just wanted to say I too have someone when people started meddling in my love life during all these gatherings.”
Red flag overcorrection
Previously divorced Indians, with their negative experience of marriage, can be overly cautious while looking for a second chance in love. This Diwali, the trend of red flag overcorrection, where ordinary relationship differences are perceived as potential threats, has taken over the second chance romance. While 41 per cent of respondents called this awareness healthy, especially when the festive season is pushing everyone to rush into commitment, 22 per cent of divorced singles between 28 and 35 years of age called it a defensive approach to relationships: a simple delay in responding, a small conflict over finances, or harmless adjustments, everything can remind them of the ex and turn into grounds for rejection. Nidhi Singh, a single mom from Mumbai, said, “I saw people getting into relationships around festive season, and I was being too wary of red flags. But I kind of missed out on some good matches because of my overcorrecting nature.”
Emotional prenup
The survey found that 6 in 10 divorced singles from Tier 1 and 2 cities revealed that watching other couples during festive gatherings creates a preset idea about how their marriage should also look; Kairav (29), divorced for a year, said, “After meeting my friends and their spouses last year, after my divorce, I saw one weird change in me: I was negotiating the terms of marriage even before I would commit to a match. I mean, I was trying to replicate their happy marriage; from living arrangements to emotional expectations, everything. Sort of an emotional prenup; needless to mention, it didn’t end well.”
New survey reveals how divorced Indian singles are navigating the festive season
