Most couples consider “the ex” partner as the biggest threat in their relationship. Everyone assumes their partner may be secretly comparing them to their ex, or emotionally hung up on them, but a new survey says there is more.
A recent relationship survey by Indian dating app QuackQuack shows that the biggest competition might not be a person at all. A majority of singles participating in it shared that it is usually the idea of the perfect partner they have in their minds: someone who is flawlessly compatible, successful, emotionally and physically in the top tier, and someone who always knows exactly what to say and do in any given situation. Practically, it is much harder to compete with someone’s imagined version of a perfect partner than to compete with their ex.
The survey was conducted among 11738 daters between 22 and 35 from Tier 1, 2, and 3 cities across India. Participants came from various professional and educational fields for comprehensive findings.
The app’s founder and CEO, Ravi Mittal, added, “Most daters have an internal checklist of how their ideal partner should look or feel like. This is especially true for singles who have experienced a difficult breakup; they become more vigilant and create a whole list of non-negotiables and traits they definitely want in their partner. But for a match to compete with someone who doesn’t exist can be quite challenging. It is one thing to have healthy standards and a whole other thing to expect a custom-made partner who comes tailored to your emotional blueprint.”
No bad days ever
An imaginary partner comes with one of the best qualities: they never disappoint. There are no bad days. About 36 per cent of Indian singles between 22 and 30 years of age said their ideal partner should never forget to call, make time even on the busiest days, never disagree, and should not need time to open up. But these participants also understand that real people come with contradictions; real people are rarely without flaws. The survey says 4 in 10 respondents from Tier 1 cities admitted that they have rejected matches because the person did not fit their emotional template and later regretted their decision.
Participants also suggested that while they all have an ideal partner in mind, they also understand that following the idea to the core will only lead to compatibility being judged against unrealistic perfection instead of potential.
Longer checklist after heartbreak
The survey shows that people with an experience of heartbreak and problematic relationships tend to be more specific about their idea of a perfect partner. The findings show that 18 per cent of singles who suffered from communication issues in their past relationship now want immediate transparency, and 21 per cent of singles who broke up over trust issues cannot date someone who isn’t willing to update their every move. The survey reveals that 7 in 10 Indian singles between 30 and 35 years of age, who were neglected by their ex described their ideal partner as someone who will constantly reassure them.
While these are understandable expectations, they can turn finding a match into a quality-control test.
Imaginary partner vs Real can make real underwhelming
The idea of a perfect partner can make the real experience with a potential partner underwhelming, said over 39 per cent of users from Tier 1, 2, and 3 cities. Adrija (27) said, “Comparing a real relationship with all its nuances with the feeling we have constructed from watching countless reels, movies, and curated social media posts is quite unfair. It happened to me. I had certain things in my mind when I thought of an ideal partner and when I went on a date with a match, the experience was very underwhelming. I realised later that the problem was not with the guy but with my unrealistic expectations.”
Indian singles who are dating explained that having a checklist is important, but sticking to it and expecting one to tick them all is only going to lead to missing out on what could’ve otherwise been amazing matches.
New dating survey reveals biggest competition Indian singles are facing today
